Pillocks

Come on then, if yer hard enough !

Mac Nuts

Ok, macs are cool, I love my mac etc etc. But, these people are nuts.

Although, this is even sadder...

Cabbie !

Ooh er, I've just gone and done something a bit mad... again. I seem to have bought myself a new car ! Ha Ha how crazy is this? Can't wait to customise the interior. This is gonna be such a laugh...especially trying to stop drunks climbing in late at night...Why did I buy a black cab ?

Because...

They are large virtually indestructable vehicles
They are easily one of the safest cars on the road
They are built on a solid chassis
They can carry huge amounts of shopping
They can carry up to seven persons
They are ideal school runs vehicles
They sit up high and give a fantastic command of the road
They give a sense of invinceability
They easily accept the largest pushchairs
Other drivers keep clear of taxis
They are simple to drive & easy to service
The division window can close off noisy kids
They can do over 30 miles to a diesel gallon
They frequently do half a million miles if regularly serviced
They are cheap to insure
Parts are not expensive
They can be hosed out after the kids throw up in the back
And you can sneak up the bus lanes...

Jason Bourne

I went to see Mr. Bourne smashing up cars and killing baddies with a phone book last night, and it was bloody brilliant.

Part Time Model

Very good.

R.I.P

I heard today that an old mate of mine died. I worked with John Taylor for about 8 years making mannequins for Adel Rootstien in a little studio hidden behind the Kings Road in Chelsea. It's the only job I ever had where I actually looked forward to going to work each morning. The studio had never really changed since he first set it up and sculpted Twiggy in sixties, there were the plaster heads and hands of all kinds of celebs and fashion models stacked precariously on shelves, the whole place had a layer of clay dust covering everything, most of the tools were at least 20 years old. Every morning at around 10, a model would come in and pose for a few hours whilst John set about sculpting her. Then we would have a fairly lazy lunch and a pint or two before going back and working on the plaster casts. The casts were eventually sent to a factory where they were copied and sold all over the world. I don't seem to have any pictures the old boy except this one which shows John and I working on a model of Amica in the late 80's. In 1990 I met Alison when we made a mannequin of her, and we've been together ever since. It was great fun in those days, walking up and down Regent Street seeing her in shop windows dressed up with different hairstyles and mad makeup. I even have a spare Alison under the stairs, in case the real one falls to bits. John was fantastic influence on me, a very wise and generous man who had partied hard through the sixties Kings Road fashion scene and matured into a mildly eccentric old man who considered most of what goes on these days as being irrelevant. I am a sad man today.

Bored

Its the sumer holidays still, and it's getting difficult to think of new ways to entertain the kids. Anyway, I came across these pics stashed away on my computer and thought I would share them in case any of you haven't seen them before or are daft enough to give it a try. I am a bored man and going to have a go at being a kangaroo today.

Oops !

I've just done something rather rash. I happened to be looking at the new iMacs on Apple's website, the 24" 2.8ghz one in particular, thinking to myself that I can't possibly afford one, and somehow I sort of accidentally hit the "purchase now" button. Going to have a bit of explaining to do when the missus gets back. I am an overdrawn man today.

Anniversary Cow

Today, with a certain amount of pride, I can announce that Alison and I have been together for 18 years. To celebrate, she bought me a cow, and we are going to the pub. Now you might think that we should be having a swanky dinner, and buying platinum jewelry for each other, but actually a cow and a pint is quite perfect in my view. I am a happy man today.

Pond Life

I am pleased to say that after a fair bit of mucking around and about 500 quid, I now have a rather lovely pond, complete with 6 little Kois and a filter/water spout thingymajig. If you don't already have a pond in your garden, you should definitely build one. It's not that hard, and few things are as calming as sitting by your pond, feeding the fish, whilst enjoying a beer and fag. I am a peaceful man today.

Heroes

I was horribly pissed off last year when Sky bought the rights to one of my favourite TV programs... "Lost". I absolutely refuse to sign up to Sky just to be able to see the third series, and now have to wait for it to come out on DVD. In fact, I will never subscribe to Sky, just because I think they are rude. Anyway, thank God there is now something else to keep me occupied at 9 pm each week... Heroes. Great fun, tonight on BBC2