Monday, August 17, 2009

Sleeping With Fat Eric





There are a few problems associated with Camping, but in my opinion the worst of them is to do with getting a decent nights sleep. Firstly, there is the endless babbling drivel emanating from the pissed-up delinquents in the tent next to you, (use earplugs), and secondly the fact that you wake up in agony as a result of sleeping on an inferior bed. I have however, found the solution, in the form of a pair of Alpkit Fat Airic Self Inflating Mattresses. It's a cross between a foam mat and an inflatable air bed, and is absolutely bloody brilliant. You unroll it, open the valves, then go and have a pint. When you get back, the mattress has self inflated about halfway. You then add a few puffs to top up to your desired firmness and close the valves. I did a lot of googling and this one seems to be the best because it can inflate to 7cm thick, is rectangular (not tapered) and no where near as expensive as 'Thermorest'. We got 2 for £80, and I've just tried one out. It is possibly more comfortable than my own bed, which has a very tired Ikea mattress on it. Perhaps I'll camp out tonight because I will be more comfy, and won't have to listen to my delinquent kids in the next bedroom.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Boats and Stuff






On Friday morning, we piled a load of stuff into our old taxi and blasted down to Bath with the intention of doing a bit of last-minute camping. All the campsites were fully booked, but, as it turns out, the Mother in Law was sailing gently up the river Avon towards us. After a quick detour and some button pressing on my iphone, we found ourselves piling on board a narrowboat for what turned out to be a highly enjoyable weekend. It was great fun going through the locks, most of which seem to be alongside a pub. A narrow boat is just under 7 feet wide and under 72 feet long (so it can fit in a lock), which means things can get a little cramped with 4 adults and 2 farty kids.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Sheppey



Some friends of ours have got a hut next to the beach on the Isle Of Sheppey. We've just spent a couple of days down there, mucking about on the beach. Sheppey is actually a bit pikey, but apart from that, it was jolly nice. The beach is sandy, the pubs are cheap, and its only 2 hours in the car to get there.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

The Horror



When I caught the advert for this on the telly, my head instantly turned away, as if I had just witnessed some sort of gruesome car accident. But then, like the pathetic rubber-necker that I am, I slowly turned back, allowing the mixture of disbelief and revulsion to ovewhelm my senses, revelling in the gory details, soaking in the depraved neon packaging... I am genuinely horrified.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Weddings





A mate of mine decided last year to go travelling around the world, but accidentally fell in love and got married to a Bolivian girl. Anyway, they had 3 weddings, one in Bolivia, one in the registry office, and another in the english countryside. We only made it along to the last one, which was very romantic. It seems that all Bolivian people can sing and play the guitar. I drank far too much and woke up next to the bonfire in the pissing rain at 6 in the morning.

Scary



Don't know about you, but I reckon the kids are running the wrong way.

Broadstairs



On Wednesday the sun came out in a very big way, so Alison decided that we were all going to the beach. I have never been to Broadstairs, but I can tell you now that despite being very crowded, it is bloody nice - a classic english beach, lots of sand and fat people, and when the tide goes out there's loads of weed and rock pools to explore in search of crabs and stuff.

Fast Cars





If you are even remotely petrol headed, you should grab your cheque book and book yourself in for one of the driving days at Goodwood Race track. I spent a glorious afternoon belting around the course in an AC Cobra, Porsche 911 RallySport, Formula 2000, Alfa GT, Mini Cooper S... Fantastic fun and thoroughly recommended.

Wood Fairy



And here's one of Ellie pretending to be a wood fairy.

2 Finger Ninja Crazy Pinch



Ok, after a few months on Facebook, I am ready to return to Blogging.. To start with, heres a picture of Oscar practising his favourite 'Double Handed Two Finger Ninja Crazy Pinch Technique', which is capable of rendering his sister completely hysterical almost instantly.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Holidays !



Hurray ! A long deserved break from the kids begins tomorrow here, with a couple of hours of this thrown in... Yippee !

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Even More Lost Than Before



Last night, after what seems like an incredibly long wait, I watched the first three episodes of Lost Series 5. And it was brilliant. Everyone else was in bed, and my massive telly once again earnt it's ludicrous expense.

Monday, February 02, 2009

This Morning at Seven



It's definitely a "bunk off school" day...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Tooth Alert



As you can see, the Tooth Fairy has been very busy in our house recently.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Geek Alert



I have been having an enormous amount of fun over the last few days playing around with various combinations of the following kit:

Pioneer PDP LX 5090 plasma telly
The picture quality is so good to look at that that you sometimes forget what you are actually watching..
Yamaha DSP AX763 av amplifier
Fantastic for the money...
Paradigm PS 1000 Subwoofer
Gets the bass down so low that my house starts to flap...
Western Digital WDTV media player
Unbelievably brilliant little box that lets you play music, video and photos on your telly via HDMI and the above mentioned amp. Rip your dvd collection using handbrake, and dump it to a usb hard drive, then have instant access to 1080p Dolby Digital movies. Find stuff on BTjunkie or Superfundo and download with Azureus... Awesome

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Sickies



It's that time of year and there's a few bugs going round... Both kids off school and being generally annoying. Oscar seems only capable of eating popcorn and watching telly. Ellie is an entirely different kind of patient, preferring to snuggle down and think about shopping. Have got a strange feeling that I'm being stitched up here. But I'm not taking any shit from them tomorrow, it's off to school or else...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Oh My Gawd



Ooh Dear, Xmas is coming early for one bewildered dad. After about a year of research, I've just gone and ordered a bloody great big telly. £400 off normal price, and my research tells me that it's not going to get any cheaper despite credit crunches and January sales. Probably. Anyway, it is apparently the dogs bollocks and you can't really get a better screen anywhere. Can't wait to see Dot Cotton on a fifty inch plasma. Not looking forward to explaining the credit card balance to the missus though...

Get yer own here...

A Classic Masterpiece



God I love the InterWeb. And tabloid bad taste... Check THIS out ! Genius...

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Bondage



Is it too early to start blogging about xmas ? Probably. But what the hell, here is my first festive entry....

Friday, November 28, 2008

Blurb



If you've ever fancied publishing your own book, here's your chance. Just go here and download the free software (mac and peecee), then get cracking. When you have finished, you can order copies which are printed, bound and delivered... bloody brilliant. If you are really clever, you could produced a set of spectacularly self-centered and exquisitely dull books to hand out to your mates for Xmas.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Bargains !



As you can see, there are some fantastic bargains to be had on this web site. These pies are going for just over a quid each providing you collect them from Torquay Police Station within the next 14 days...

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Halloween



This credit crunch thing is getting a bit ridiculous. We went out last night knocking on doors and spooking people, and only managed to get about 2 dozen sweets ... (quality street on special offer at sainsburys). Oh well, at least we had fun dressing up.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fun



Here's one of Oscar enjoying one of his favourite games whilst on holiday... "Stamping on Pidgeons"

Writings



There are times when writing a letter is the only way to get your message across. This is an absolute classic that we found lying around the other day... a short and slightly confused note from Luella to her brother.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Tea



At the tender age of just five and three quarters, Luella has just enjoyed her very first cup of tea. It was a standard PG Tips, white, with one sugar. I thought it was worth a quick photo given that she will probably consume a minimum of 50,000 cups in her lifetime or an average of 2.3KG per year.(apparently)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Breathless



Whilst on holiday, Ellie learnt to swim (un-assisted) a full length of the pool, which is bloody marvellous. She then started experimenting with under-water swimming, and breath holding. Today, in the bath, she smashed her previous record by holding her breath for 29.3 seconds , which is a lot longer than I can do. The real bonus behind all of this though, is that for those entire 29.3 seconds, she was unable to speak, which really is bloody brilliant.

Friday, August 08, 2008

R&R



Bewildered Dad is abroad, running up a huge bar bill...

A Few Numbers



These are some of the numbers that have been bothering me recently. Also, this message was posted at 08.08.08am on 08.08.08

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Adventures





We've just got back from a couple of days camping at a rather lovely campsite in Sussex. The great thing about this place is that the farmer is happy for you to light proper fires, and even provides firewood. In fact he is a jolly nice chap, happy to sit for a few minutes by the fire with a beer and tell a few stories, offer local advice etc. The kids ran amok, with very little parental supervision and got covered in filth, cow shit, soot and sausage fat. They swam in a lake, climbed trees, chased pea-hens, toasted marshmallows, poked sticks in fires, got stung and prickled and ran through wheat fields. About 9 of them got to sit in the front and drive my taxi around the campsite... - all in all they had a brilliant time. Before leaving, we visited Pooh Corner, which is a bit of wilderness popularised by a chap called A. A. Milne.

Oh one other thing, there's a cider shop next door.